boyleth (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
perfectteatime) wrote2022-02-24 05:55 pm
perfectteatime) wrote2022-02-24 05:55 pm
Amani Inbox
Greetings. You have reached the message box of Byleth Eisner, please leave a message I will contact you shortly.
You are right...
Well. What about starting at when you left your village? From there on.
Well. What about starting at when you left your village? From there on.
When I left my village... aye, I can do that.
It was almost always snowing in the village and the Wood. Spring was rare, so I had my fill. Felt I ought to go elsewhere completely different. So I set out for Ul'dah, to begin with.
[Discussing most of the war against the Garlean Empire isn't too bad. Aside from Thancred's possession and having to carry the dead bodies of his fellow Scions to be buried, but who's counting? But most of it is positive, at least for him. With the Echo and the blessing of Light, he could face Primals where no other could. He could not be tempered. But then, there was so much reliance on that, wasn't there? Facing so much on his own, serve save slay slave. Walking, doing what others could or would not do. Moenbryda's tearful sacrifice, the betrayal of the Crystal Braves, the Bloody Banquet. On the run, and only able to turn to Haurchefant for safety under House Fortemps with Alphinaud and Tataru at his side.
Ah, Haurchefant. He, too, deserves an explanation. And at length, he does explain the noble knight, so quick to engage and quick to flatter. At first, Obsidian despised how flirtatious he was, but eventually the trust was won with Haurchefant's fervent desire to protect him from Shiva and in turn Obsidian had, too, explained himself to Haurchefant then about his... issues. And then...
The Dragonsong War had personal stakes in it. Not just for the innocents, but because he felt he needed to pay back the friends he'd made. For Haurchefant's home, for Aymeric, for so many. The truth of the dragons unraveled before him, and Haurchefant's sacrifice to save his life.
He'd gone a little mad, maybe. No one really blamed him for it, but since that moment, Obsidian had gone on a personal crusade to slaughter the entirety of the Heaven's Ward. Destroy them, rip out Zephirin's heart, make them pay. At the end of it was the cold truth as ever: the world will not stop turning, even when the ones you love die. Revenge could only put a salve onto that wound so temporarily, but there'd been no succor. True, his vengeance also saved many lives, but there'd also been the loss of Ysayle. At the end of it all, they were able to put Nidhogg to rest -- sort of -- and rescue Estinien.
Yet it would branch off into the tragedy of the Griffin and getting involved in the war between Ala Mhigo and the Empire. The first time he'd unfortunately met Zenos, the massacre of many of the resistance, and the ultimate decision that mayhap fighting for Doma as well would bring success in freeing Ala Mhigo as well. But that too would bring the revelation of how people of their countries were, in some way, let down by their homes and peoples. A feeling he knew too well, especially as Yotsuyu lie dying at his feet. That somehow he would indeed mourn the Witch of Doma.
Then G'raha's master plan to not only save the First, but also his life, the lives of so many in the past and future. Meeting Emet-Selch, fighting sin eaters, and the tragedy of Ardbert and his friends. The bittersweet victories that would follow, and how eventually the truth of their worlds -- how they'd been sundered, and Emet-Selch plotting his own demise, which is an unfortunate running theme. Battling Elidibus, and then eventually...
Fandaniel, tricking Zenos into his own plans and rising the strange towers. The talk of the Final Fays. The Forum at Sharlayan being stubborn about helping. Attempting to offer succor to the post-civil war land of Garlemald, and his meeting with Vrtra and Varshahn in Thavnair. Zenos taking his body and no time left to dwell on it, march forward ever to the moon and back again. Yet, with the aid of so many companions, they would find the source of the Final Days with the Endsinger. That victory, too, was bittersweet, but they would all find reasons to fight on and live, despite it all. They'd been there before, and knew to never give up, and Obsidian will never cave in to despair.
Yet speaking of all this does make him realize just... how much it all is. Remembering Fordola receiving visions of his experiences and asking him in a baffled voice: All that power, all that pain. It's too much for anyone. The things they've done to you, the lies, the betrayal, the endless fighting... yet there you stand, unbroken. How? Why?
What choice is there otherwise?]
It was almost always snowing in the village and the Wood. Spring was rare, so I had my fill. Felt I ought to go elsewhere completely different. So I set out for Ul'dah, to begin with.
[Discussing most of the war against the Garlean Empire isn't too bad. Aside from Thancred's possession and having to carry the dead bodies of his fellow Scions to be buried, but who's counting? But most of it is positive, at least for him. With the Echo and the blessing of Light, he could face Primals where no other could. He could not be tempered. But then, there was so much reliance on that, wasn't there? Facing so much on his own, serve save slay slave. Walking, doing what others could or would not do. Moenbryda's tearful sacrifice, the betrayal of the Crystal Braves, the Bloody Banquet. On the run, and only able to turn to Haurchefant for safety under House Fortemps with Alphinaud and Tataru at his side.
Ah, Haurchefant. He, too, deserves an explanation. And at length, he does explain the noble knight, so quick to engage and quick to flatter. At first, Obsidian despised how flirtatious he was, but eventually the trust was won with Haurchefant's fervent desire to protect him from Shiva and in turn Obsidian had, too, explained himself to Haurchefant then about his... issues. And then...
The Dragonsong War had personal stakes in it. Not just for the innocents, but because he felt he needed to pay back the friends he'd made. For Haurchefant's home, for Aymeric, for so many. The truth of the dragons unraveled before him, and Haurchefant's sacrifice to save his life.
He'd gone a little mad, maybe. No one really blamed him for it, but since that moment, Obsidian had gone on a personal crusade to slaughter the entirety of the Heaven's Ward. Destroy them, rip out Zephirin's heart, make them pay. At the end of it was the cold truth as ever: the world will not stop turning, even when the ones you love die. Revenge could only put a salve onto that wound so temporarily, but there'd been no succor. True, his vengeance also saved many lives, but there'd also been the loss of Ysayle. At the end of it all, they were able to put Nidhogg to rest -- sort of -- and rescue Estinien.
Yet it would branch off into the tragedy of the Griffin and getting involved in the war between Ala Mhigo and the Empire. The first time he'd unfortunately met Zenos, the massacre of many of the resistance, and the ultimate decision that mayhap fighting for Doma as well would bring success in freeing Ala Mhigo as well. But that too would bring the revelation of how people of their countries were, in some way, let down by their homes and peoples. A feeling he knew too well, especially as Yotsuyu lie dying at his feet. That somehow he would indeed mourn the Witch of Doma.
Then G'raha's master plan to not only save the First, but also his life, the lives of so many in the past and future. Meeting Emet-Selch, fighting sin eaters, and the tragedy of Ardbert and his friends. The bittersweet victories that would follow, and how eventually the truth of their worlds -- how they'd been sundered, and Emet-Selch plotting his own demise, which is an unfortunate running theme. Battling Elidibus, and then eventually...
Fandaniel, tricking Zenos into his own plans and rising the strange towers. The talk of the Final Fays. The Forum at Sharlayan being stubborn about helping. Attempting to offer succor to the post-civil war land of Garlemald, and his meeting with Vrtra and Varshahn in Thavnair. Zenos taking his body and no time left to dwell on it, march forward ever to the moon and back again. Yet, with the aid of so many companions, they would find the source of the Final Days with the Endsinger. That victory, too, was bittersweet, but they would all find reasons to fight on and live, despite it all. They'd been there before, and knew to never give up, and Obsidian will never cave in to despair.
Yet speaking of all this does make him realize just... how much it all is. Remembering Fordola receiving visions of his experiences and asking him in a baffled voice: All that power, all that pain. It's too much for anyone. The things they've done to you, the lies, the betrayal, the endless fighting... yet there you stand, unbroken. How? Why?
What choice is there otherwise?]
Hurt me? Hardly a concern, but we can go easy if you are worried about it all the same.
[ He takes the whole of it in and turns it over in his head. Carefully thinking before he responds. His tone remains even and calm as ever. ]
I see.
I am so sorry you were forced to do that, Ashe. I apologize on... on I suppose my own behalf. I have seen a few of my own alternate fates, some quite unpleasant. While it does not surprise me to hear it, I do not wish such things on you or anyone.
It must have been a terribly lonely task.
[ He pauses, and some emotion creeps into his voice. Softness. ]
Would you like a hug?
I see.
I am so sorry you were forced to do that, Ashe. I apologize on... on I suppose my own behalf. I have seen a few of my own alternate fates, some quite unpleasant. While it does not surprise me to hear it, I do not wish such things on you or anyone.
It must have been a terribly lonely task.
[ He pauses, and some emotion creeps into his voice. Softness. ]
Would you like a hug?
to me, specifically.
how best to explain
a mortal can form a pact with a voidsent.
as i am from the void, that is what i am.
typically, such an arrangement is mutually beneficial
a mortal gains power, i gain aether.
twas not such the case when fandaniel wrenched me from the void and poured darkness into me.
i was beholden to the orders of a man named zenos because of fandaniel. there was no mutual arrangement. merely chains upon my person as i provided power and did as was commanded of me.
it was vexing
how best to explain
a mortal can form a pact with a voidsent.
as i am from the void, that is what i am.
typically, such an arrangement is mutually beneficial
a mortal gains power, i gain aether.
twas not such the case when fandaniel wrenched me from the void and poured darkness into me.
i was beholden to the orders of a man named zenos because of fandaniel. there was no mutual arrangement. merely chains upon my person as i provided power and did as was commanded of me.
it was vexing
It... it could have been worse. Despite how it sounds... I realize it could be that much worse, if I didn't have a single person to rely upon. I wasn't entirely alone for all of it, at least.
Even if my allies were few, they are precious to me. I'm lucky that the Doll is here.
[The invitation for an embrace sincerely surprises him. This certainly is a very different Byleth, and physical comfort is such a rarity. He remembers having asked the Doll once for that comfort during an especially difficult part of the hunt.
There's a slow nod.] Yes, if that's okay.
Even if my allies were few, they are precious to me. I'm lucky that the Doll is here.
[The invitation for an embrace sincerely surprises him. This certainly is a very different Byleth, and physical comfort is such a rarity. He remembers having asked the Doll once for that comfort during an especially difficult part of the hunt.
There's a slow nod.] Yes, if that's okay.
[Since Angeal is apparently out for Caspar's life (again)... first order of business, he's got to find Byleth.]
hey where are you rite now
hey where are you rite now
I see...
Your concern is entirely understandable, then. I'm terribly sorry. I cannot begin to imagine what that must have been like.
Your concern is entirely understandable, then. I'm terribly sorry. I cannot begin to imagine what that must have been like.
[ Byleth listens attentively, asking a few questions here and there to clarify events. It's a lot. The whole weavings of this world seem ever more complicated and tangled with each story. Every account from every individual. From Obsidian to Hades, Hermes to Themis, and even Zero... there is no end to the winding web of troubles.
And of course, his heart aches for it all. At some point, he reaches out to take Obsidian's hand. Keeps hold of it as he continues.
When he finishes at last, Byleth gives a shuddering sigh, wordlessly pulling him into a firm hug. ]
You have endured so much, my friend.
It must be hard, to go through all of that with hardly a rest.
[ Speak for yourself, Byleth. Still, Obsidian's tale is far more protracted than even his own. ]
It is no wonder you struggle to find catharsis. It has been one thing to the next. I know I cannot undo it, but please know that you are safe to grieve here. I can take care of things for a while, and you- you can afford to be small for a time. You can weep here, and leave the lifting to me. I will ensure nothing happens while you do.
And of course, his heart aches for it all. At some point, he reaches out to take Obsidian's hand. Keeps hold of it as he continues.
When he finishes at last, Byleth gives a shuddering sigh, wordlessly pulling him into a firm hug. ]
You have endured so much, my friend.
It must be hard, to go through all of that with hardly a rest.
[ Speak for yourself, Byleth. Still, Obsidian's tale is far more protracted than even his own. ]
It is no wonder you struggle to find catharsis. It has been one thing to the next. I know I cannot undo it, but please know that you are safe to grieve here. I can take care of things for a while, and you- you can afford to be small for a time. You can weep here, and leave the lifting to me. I will ensure nothing happens while you do.
The Doll... so you are from the same world. She once mentioned an "important person" to me, one that she was glad was here. She must have meant you.
[ He draws Ashe into a gentle embrace, stroking his back softly. ]
You can count me as your friend and ally, Ashe. I'm certain many of the others who hail from my world would no doubt say the same. You were well-loved where I am from. Hm. Even Felix couldn't deny your indomitable spirit.
You deserve your rest here.
[ He draws Ashe into a gentle embrace, stroking his back softly. ]
You can count me as your friend and ally, Ashe. I'm certain many of the others who hail from my world would no doubt say the same. You were well-loved where I am from. Hm. Even Felix couldn't deny your indomitable spirit.
You deserve your rest here.
i disliked it.
i will not repeat the details told to you about Fandaniel's part in what he had done to the Source
nor will i seek to punish Hermes as he is now
do know that i will not hesitate to act if he brings you harm.
with or without memories, to know that he is capable of such things concerns me.
i will not repeat the details told to you about Fandaniel's part in what he had done to the Source
nor will i seek to punish Hermes as he is now
do know that i will not hesitate to act if he brings you harm.
with or without memories, to know that he is capable of such things concerns me.
Ah...
[For a moment, he feels helpless in Byleth's arms, because he doesn't know what to do. It isn't like his friends treat him as dispensable, but the situation rarely allowed even a moment to grieve or to process. There are things that haunt him, and without Feo Uhl's blessing the nightmares have certainly sunk in again.
But there is so much to grieve. The lives he could not save. The torment not just he has experiences. The lack of justice, the cruelty of it all. How many people who decided to find their death at the end of his sword? There is ever a brighter tomorrow to strive for, and he does not despair, but it doesn't mean there isn't still turmoil.
Do not forget the mournful boy, for he is you too, he can hear Fray say. Grieve as you must, for you have much of it with how fierce you love. But do not forget yourself. Listen to our voice, listen to our heartbeat -- I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you.
So for once, the Warrior of Light -- Obsidian -- allows himself to just be a man. To suddenly cling onto his friend and weep quietly against his shoulder, to at last release so much broiling inside of him.]
[For a moment, he feels helpless in Byleth's arms, because he doesn't know what to do. It isn't like his friends treat him as dispensable, but the situation rarely allowed even a moment to grieve or to process. There are things that haunt him, and without Feo Uhl's blessing the nightmares have certainly sunk in again.
But there is so much to grieve. The lives he could not save. The torment not just he has experiences. The lack of justice, the cruelty of it all. How many people who decided to find their death at the end of his sword? There is ever a brighter tomorrow to strive for, and he does not despair, but it doesn't mean there isn't still turmoil.
Do not forget the mournful boy, for he is you too, he can hear Fray say. Grieve as you must, for you have much of it with how fierce you love. But do not forget yourself. Listen to our voice, listen to our heartbeat -- I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you.
So for once, the Warrior of Light -- Obsidian -- allows himself to just be a man. To suddenly cling onto his friend and weep quietly against his shoulder, to at last release so much broiling inside of him.]
ok hang on
[Yeah that's... that's all you're getting, for the moment.
A few minutes later, though, Byleth will get a knock on his door - and, when he opens it, Caspar is standing there, already looking ready to bury himself in a hole forever.
And then he just.... starts whining. You know, like a puppy. Like Angeal told him to.]
[Yeah that's... that's all you're getting, for the moment.
A few minutes later, though, Byleth will get a knock on his door - and, when he opens it, Caspar is standing there, already looking ready to bury himself in a hole forever.
And then he just.... starts whining. You know, like a puppy. Like Angeal told him to.]
It's strange, being so cared for in this manner. It isn't that he hasn't been doted on before, he has, plenty of times. Hythlodaeus himself does it in his own ways, and even before that he played the part of an Emperor. He had staff that would tend to his every need, he had luxurious baths, and attendants, and so forth. For all his character might not have had the happiest life, he certainly lived one steeped in the privilege that was afforded by that ridiculous crown he bore. All of it lacked the intimacy that currently fills this room, the love that warms them more than the water or Byleth's fire magic.
For all it tended to his vessel, all that care he received at that time didn't reach his heart, not as Byleth does now. After eons of being the one to fuss over the other Unsundered, to be the one to take care of himself, to varying degrees of success, to have someone else lavish him in this way...
All of it soothes him in ways deeper than skin, coaxes him into such relaxation that he almost feels guilty over it. Over the fussing, over Byleth doing this for him. It isn't that he doesn't enjoy the actions, he does, but it feels too indulgent, too selfish when he does not like to burden those that he cares for in such a manner. Yet he is not immune to the affects, to the calming sensation of it all, and so his eye lids feel as heavy as Byleth's question implies.
"Mmm." Is his unhelpful acknowledgment that he heard him, but not much of an answer to the question. "Aye, that I am. Little surprise, given how relaxing this bath is, and the work of your dutiful hands. Mayhap we should retire."
For all it tended to his vessel, all that care he received at that time didn't reach his heart, not as Byleth does now. After eons of being the one to fuss over the other Unsundered, to be the one to take care of himself, to varying degrees of success, to have someone else lavish him in this way...
All of it soothes him in ways deeper than skin, coaxes him into such relaxation that he almost feels guilty over it. Over the fussing, over Byleth doing this for him. It isn't that he doesn't enjoy the actions, he does, but it feels too indulgent, too selfish when he does not like to burden those that he cares for in such a manner. Yet he is not immune to the affects, to the calming sensation of it all, and so his eye lids feel as heavy as Byleth's question implies.
"Mmm." Is his unhelpful acknowledgment that he heard him, but not much of an answer to the question. "Aye, that I am. Little surprise, given how relaxing this bath is, and the work of your dutiful hands. Mayhap we should retire."
"I'm glad, and I agree. Though I could happily stay in here with you forever, we'd get all... squiggly." Squiggly? Sure. That's the word for it. Reluctantly though, he extracts himself, fetching a towel for each of them. He drapes Emet's over his head and gently rubs his hair, using the towel to pull him into a kiss before he can complain about it. He offers the man a hand up, and lets the water drain. He'll keep the thought that Emet looks like a scruffly cat with his hair in disarray like that. No, he'd rather not rouse the man's comical ire at the moment. Keeping him in a placid, sleepy state is so much better a thought. Better to cuddle with, after all.
Byleth dries, but doesn't bother dressing, instead, leading him in to bed and slipping under the covers bare. It would be such a waste to not be able to feel skin to skin, being so soft after a bath full of oils and scent.
"Do you want to be the big spoon or the little one?" This is a serious question, that he asks with the same candor as one would ask someone what they prefer for supper. The confidence which comes through it makes clear that he is utterly serious and does not find the question silly at all.
Byleth dries, but doesn't bother dressing, instead, leading him in to bed and slipping under the covers bare. It would be such a waste to not be able to feel skin to skin, being so soft after a bath full of oils and scent.
"Do you want to be the big spoon or the little one?" This is a serious question, that he asks with the same candor as one would ask someone what they prefer for supper. The confidence which comes through it makes clear that he is utterly serious and does not find the question silly at all.
[ Ah. There it is. Byleth feels himself tighten his embrace as Obsidian falls apart on him. As though he was the only thing holding him together at the moment. He strokes his back. ]
It's all right. Let it out. There is no shame here.
[ He assures, not wanting Obsidian to regret this catharsis. He keeps hold of him, murmuring soft assurances as long as he needs. Until there are no more tears to shed. He holds him up, and bears the weight for a time, because clearly he needs to hand off his burden for a while.
It is only when Obsidian's tears have un dry, and the shaking of his body has quieted, that Byleth dares to loosen his grip, if only to check on him. ]
Do you need some water, my friend?
It's all right. Let it out. There is no shame here.
[ He assures, not wanting Obsidian to regret this catharsis. He keeps hold of him, murmuring soft assurances as long as he needs. Until there are no more tears to shed. He holds him up, and bears the weight for a time, because clearly he needs to hand off his burden for a while.
It is only when Obsidian's tears have un dry, and the shaking of his body has quieted, that Byleth dares to loosen his grip, if only to check on him. ]
Do you need some water, my friend?
[ Well ok.
The knock at the door is expected, but he looks down at Caspar in utter confusion as he... starts to whine? Like a lost little animal?
The best part is, that he doesn't even question that part. He almost immediately, takes Caspar into his arms and strokes his head comfortingly, worry clearly coating his voice. ]
Cas? Is everything okay? What happened? What's wrong? Are you hurt?
The knock at the door is expected, but he looks down at Caspar in utter confusion as he... starts to whine? Like a lost little animal?
The best part is, that he doesn't even question that part. He almost immediately, takes Caspar into his arms and strokes his head comfortingly, worry clearly coating his voice. ]
Cas? Is everything okay? What happened? What's wrong? Are you hurt?
Thank you for telling me. I wish you had not suffered so, but please let me know if I can help in any way. Even if it's just more pie. I can do that.
And your care for me is also appreciated. I will do my best to make sure it does not come to that, but I am glad to have you as my ally and friend.
And your care for me is also appreciated. I will do my best to make sure it does not come to that, but I am glad to have you as my ally and friend.
you do many things for me, even when i do not ask.
and i have learned much from you
but pie is good too if you want to keep doing that.
maybe
teach me to make food as well
that would be good.
you are the first person i called friend.
so you hold a place in my heart that i am still trying to describe.
a weight that is difficult to explain
but important
and i have learned much from you
but pie is good too if you want to keep doing that.
maybe
teach me to make food as well
that would be good.
you are the first person i called friend.
so you hold a place in my heart that i am still trying to describe.
a weight that is difficult to explain
but important
I'm glad you've met her. She's important to me too, and I wouldn't have lived without her.
[Oh. The last time he'd been held, it'd been because he asked the Doll to do that for him, and... it's honestly nice that Byleth did it himself. Ashe closest his eyes and leans a bit against him.]
...I'm not that Ashe, you know. But I also realize that there are plenty of similarities despite how different our worlds are. Still, I'd be happy to call you my friend, Professor.
[His rest. It's a lovely idea. To truly sleep, to truly dream, to open his eyes and find a new dawn.]
[Oh. The last time he'd been held, it'd been because he asked the Doll to do that for him, and... it's honestly nice that Byleth did it himself. Ashe closest his eyes and leans a bit against him.]
...I'm not that Ashe, you know. But I also realize that there are plenty of similarities despite how different our worlds are. Still, I'd be happy to call you my friend, Professor.
[His rest. It's a lovely idea. To truly sleep, to truly dream, to open his eyes and find a new dawn.]
[There isn't shame in release. It is that suddenly realizes he isn't some immoveable mountain, as he has needed to be for so long. Keep walking, keep moving forward. Like this, it's as if he suddenly stops and just mourns for everything. Everything that was, that could have been. Lost chances, lost friends, lost lives. His hand forced to slay many, his hand unable to save enough.
It is a wretched thing, but he'd never wish the burden upon anyone else either. And so, it is with gratitude he is able to alleviate some of it through tears, words, and a warm embrace from a precious friend.
Roughly, he rubs his eyes, and sniffs.]
Aye. Feel like I've shriveled.
It is a wretched thing, but he'd never wish the burden upon anyone else either. And so, it is with gratitude he is able to alleviate some of it through tears, words, and a warm embrace from a precious friend.
Roughly, he rubs his eyes, and sniffs.]
Aye. Feel like I've shriveled.
[At least it was quick.
Caspar lets out a relieved breath, sort of slumping against Byleth's chest - and patting his shoulder reassuringly. The whole thing was already embarrassing, but he feels extra bad about worrying Byleth, knowing what he does.] --I'm fine! I'm okay. Sorry, it was, uh... a dare. Angeal said I had to come here and. Whine at you until you petted me.
Caspar lets out a relieved breath, sort of slumping against Byleth's chest - and patting his shoulder reassuringly. The whole thing was already embarrassing, but he feels extra bad about worrying Byleth, knowing what he does.] --I'm fine! I'm okay. Sorry, it was, uh... a dare. Angeal said I had to come here and. Whine at you until you petted me.
Page 20 of 25